My Path to The Red Road

Before our first Red Tent I feel it is important to share my story. It is still unfolding at this time with daily twists and turns and up until 2011 I wasn’t sure what my story was. I had many  life experiences, however they had no rhyme or reason. They were just random events with no clarity of where I was heading until I chose to search for my first mother . 

I feel I must be completely honest and speak the truth. I am not going to hold back for anyone in fear of hurting their feelings or pressing buttons; for my healing and personal growth I must lay out my truth on the table . It is time that family and friends know what it is to be me and what shaped me into the woman that I am. I will be candid and raw . Truth contains the good, the bad and the ugly and I am willing to face that and go on the rollercoaster ride of emotions and healing. I can no longer deny myself. Truth has value and for me to deny it my life would loose it’s full meaning. Appearances can be misleading and what appears to be true may not be reality. 

To my family and friends that read this, please do not take anything personal . These are my experiences, feelings and thoughts . I do not wish to offend or hurt anyone, however I must be truthful. I love you ALL and All are family. I can no longer define family by using the terms adopted or first family, that no longer applies, my family just grew and includes ALL. This experience has taught me volumes about family and I admit I have spent years pushing them away because I felt I did not belong. I was the square peg in the round hole and in my adulthood I found many family members felt the same way, however the depths to each  situation varied.

“Family ” is a word with many meanings and people have many ways of defining family and what being a part of one is . The dictionary defines “family” as consisting of one or two parents and their children. All descendants of a common ancestor and have the same heritage. The second definition is what I did not have and this is where my story begins, 1945.

World War ll ended with the final invasion of Germany which lead to their surrender on May 8, 1945 . After the war ended society was redirected to focus on the “traditional” family: mom, dad and child and from that time forward a  social experiment had begun. A social experiment is a research project conducted with human subjects in the real world that typically investigates by assigning individuals to a controlled condition. Bottomline the government and churches, mainly the catholic church worked together to create the “traditional” family, a human laboratory was conducted and rather than deal with the issue of infertility it could simply be corrected  by imposing the idea of  adoption. According to The Adoption History Project,  ” Freudian theories blamed infertility on resistance and speculated that adoption could dissolve unconscious barriers to conception and pregnancy. ” There was little to no evidence to prove this. As stated in Origins Inc. in the article; A Social Experiment, “Traditional adoptions were simply a long term experiment with the lives of our children. An experiment which according to many outcomes-and the cost in human terms-has failed dreadfully.” In my point of view, sugarcoat it all you want in reality it is called ” human trafficking” You can hide behind the disguise of adoption, however the fact remains that I and millions of others during this era in history were bought and sold and our first mothers were left to suffer for the rest of their lives. These mothers were denied their rights to raise their children and carried into their adult lives unaddressed burdens of guilt, pain and a corrosive secret. According to Karen Beebe Wilson Buterbaugh, the Executive Director at, “After WWll homes that sheltered unmarried pregnant women, and trained them in the life skills they needed to successfully raise their children, began instead to promote closed, stranger adoption to married couples as the best social solution to the challenges presented by single motherhood.”

According to article 3 ,paragraph (a) of the Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons defines Human Trafficking as the illegal movement of people, the transportation,transfer,harbouring or receipt of persons,by means of the threat or use of force or other forms of coercion, of abduction, of fraud, of deception, of the abuse of power or of a position of vulnerability or the giving or receiving of payments or benefits to achieve the consent of a person having control over another person.   Adoption, according to Merriam Webster, to take by choice into one’s family and raise as one’s own child, to accept formally and put into effect, to sponsor the care of. Does this shock you ?  It should. Sounds amiable to say adoption rather than the truth which is human trafficking. If the truth was spoken we would then have to admit that  living breathing human beings were and still are bought and sold. If we were to admit that then we would be a party to an illegal act.

To be continued……




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